Rules from Rules for Parents, by Silver part 2

Babies/toddlers (JJ)
Talk to them (this is what we do best, there is a running one way conversation all day)
Use a playpen. Not to neglet, but to do what you have to safely and teach them its ok to play alone 10-15 minutes . thank God he likes it.

Think of the tears as conversation since they can't talk
Don't ask , tell. (I am always asking! I need to work on this!)
Respect their rituals. it makes them more secure
Use "special" words to sell things. Tonight we are eating what Dora has for dinner!(mexican)
Hover (they need to do stuff on their own, but can't be trusted)

Preschoolers
Don't expect easy threes...so true!
Stop endless negotiations
let them win at games
don't give false praise
Teach them your values (once we figure them out!)