Rules from Rules for Parents, by Silver

These were some things I either never thought of, or maybe I did but haven't been implementing...There are also a few I've been doing, but didnt' realize that they were so good. Great and interesting book.
1. You don't have to be perfect. (I knew that...) but they learn MORE from watching how you fix the situation, and how you react. (didn't even think of that!)
2. Say yes 5 times as much as saying no. (I really really need to work on this!)
3. Talk about feelings, they will act out less if they can put them in words. But not just their feelings, other people's too.
a. Identify the feeling (youre angry because..it's bathtime)
b. lay down the law (it hurts my feelings when you call me names, in this family we don't do that)
c. stick to your guns (angry or not, it's still bathtime)
d. Moveon. They may just be looking for attention.
4. Teach them to enjoy life (we do lots of fun things, but I'm probably the worst to actually teach this. ) I should have Mama Bridget teach this!
5. Get help in a hurry (call the dr!) if you ever have questions
6.Sometimes nothing works. Would have been sooo helpful to hear this when Boo was a baby. Makes me feel better now though too.
7. Be patient (IT"S SOOOO HARD) when getting ready, schedule in dawdling time, talk yourself down (so that you don't take it out on them) be clear about the rules (5more minutes should be exactly that)and admit your are impatient, apologize and say you will try harder next time. It's not their fault you have work.
8. Teach them to make choices.(i think I'm ok at this, but didn't realize I do it as much as I do. Good to know!)

9.Be the squeaky wheel. If something is unfair, or they are not treated right, don't give up until resolved. But do hear both sides of the story.
10. Teach manners. They will not offend by having them, but may the other way. They will have them and not have to think when at an interview or a dinner.
11. Respect their fears. No matter how strange they may be. (I am good at this!) Luckily it passes fast too!
12. Explain things to them
13. Don't lie to them. (DARN!It comes so naturally.)
14, Only make a promise you intend to keep.(this should be true to anyone)
15. don't apologize for everything. If the store runs out of a toy, it's not your fault and learning to deal w/ disappointmetis a factof life.
16. Give in. Compromise on things that are really important to them, but change the circumstance. They want junk food, let them buy it, but they can only have it when you say.
17. Let them be babyish. It's normal to regress before a jumpforward. They have anxiety and this calms them. It shold only last a few weeks. Now i get it!
18. don't make fun of them. (it's sooo hard!)
19. think like a kid: they are VERY literal, they can believe two contradictory notions at the same time-like superheros aern't real, but is daddy stronger than one?,life revovles around them, they are unpredictable and they can't wait.
20. tell them about when you were little. Boo is just starting to like this.